JOKES:

It seems that auto rickshaws and the crazy personalities that are often found piloting them are an endless source of humor. In general locals and visitors can expect an unusual outlook on life, navigation and find out that what might seem like a simple process of getting from point A to B is, in fact, not.

The Buddhist

A western Buddhist woman (an easy candidate for most jokes!) is in India studying under a guru. While traveling with another woman in a local auto rickshaw they come to a stop where a man attacks them attempting to steal the woman's purse or worse. After a brief scare they speed into traffic and avoid any real danger. When the two are let off at the temple the Buddhist woman approaches her master over this troubling event. Confronted by fear and a wash of other emotions she inquires what the proper Buddhist response should be.

The teacher looks calmly over the face of his student and evenly replies, "You should have very mindfully and with great compassion whacked the attacker over the head with your umbrella."

The Christian

A christian missionary had just arrived in the city and in a rush to begin his divine errand hired an auto rickshaw, whose driver happened to be Muslim. Excited to spread the tenants of his faith to this outsider he began preaching to the driver. After a few minutes the auto wallah became visibly annoyed and posed a question to the missionary. "How many sons did this God have?" The missionary whole heartedly responded, "One." Before he could launch into any more details the driver replies, "Well I am only 30 years old and a poor rickshaw driver but I have 12 children. If your god is so great, why only one?"Your browser may not support display of this image.

Time is relative

Traveling back to his parents home in India after living abroad a young man hired an auto rickshaw to complete his journey. Giving the driver the address and attempting to settle on a price the journey began. Passing through a new district the auto stops to refuel. Soon they are off again but before the young man can determine where they are the driver has parked and joined some friends in a food stand. Infuriated the young man looks over to see another identical rickshaw pulled up along side his own with an older man waiting inside. "I have been sitting here waiting almost two hours and still have not arrived at my destination!" He declares in rage. "Two hours, is that all?" asks the older man in a relaxed voice. "I have been waiting here since they opened the food stand."

The Moriarty Murder Mystery

Is the name of an episode of The Goon Show, the famous peter sellers BBC serial. In it a reoccurring character named Seagoon attempts to chase after another character. When Seagoon tells the rickshaw boy to go faster, he gets the response "I'm doing my best but you're getting fatter all the time!"

Cultural Development

A tourist was taking a tour of the city by auto rickshaw. The first stop was the grand Parliament building. Gazing upon it's structure and facade the tourist asks, "How long did it take to complete this incredible structure?"

The auto wallah replied, "It took five years to complete, Sir."

"Ha," the tourist replied, in my country it was completed in three years." Moving on they stopped at another historical building, a grand palace. The tourist asks again, "How long did it take to complete this impressive building?"

To which the driver dutifully replies, "It took three years, Sir." The tourist looks again, self satisfied. "In my country this would have taken only a year to complete."Your browser may not support display of this image.

Traveling around to ancient temples in the city they stop at a monument to a local martyr when the tourist asks again how long the monument took to create. "It took two years, Sir."

"Ah Ha! In my country it would be completed in six months!"

After a long day of touring structures and sites the tired tourist requested that the driver bring him to the best hotel in the city. Parking alongside luxury automobiles, elaborate courtyard and landscaping spanning out from a massive building composed of the finest materials the clever tourist thought to ask again, "And how long did it take to complete this very modern structure?"

Tired of the day's questions and the tourist's overbearing nationalism he replied, " Bhab bha! O shaheb! In the morning I was going past this road and this site was under construction and now! Just look shaheb, what my country can do for outside people like you! A FIVE STAR HOTEL COMPLETED IN LESS THAN 24 HOURS!!!"

Life as We Know it.

Humor is part of life and in many places so are auto rickshaws. From the drivers and passengers to culture makers and politicians, everyone has blended the unique auto rickshaw experience into everyday living and laughing.

On Sale Now: Grand Theft Rickshaw

A play on the internationally popular Grand Theft Auto video games, this DJ mix blends a modern spin on Desi beats. Hip and funny.

Taken from a blog written by a Western Tourist:

Rickshaw boy: (still facing me) Shake my hand!!
Me: Arrrggghh, Watch the road!!!
Rickshaw boy: (turns round): But do you love me?
Me: Er, no, um…..
Rickshaw boy: (turns round again) You don't love me?
(narrowly misses edge of road and another bus)
Me: (terrified): Watch the road, I love you, okay, I love you!!!!!!
Rickshaw boy: (satisfied) ahhh, good.